Marriage in Orthodox Christianity is both a sacrament and a public, ecclesial reality. It is a union created by God, blessed and entered into within the life of the Church.
Many couples today consider civil marriage alone sufficient. Others marry civilly first and seek a blessing later. Still others never approach the Church at all.
The question that follows is urgent for pastoral, theological, and personal reasons: is marrying without the blessing of a priest wrong?
The Nature of Marriage in Orthodox Christianity
Marriage Is a Sacrament and a Mystery
Marriage is a sacrament because it is an outward sign instituted by Christ through which divine grace is communicated.
It is a mystery because marriage joins two persons in a way that reveals Christ’s union with the Church. This union is not reducible to a legal contract.
Marriage in the Church is not only a personal commitment but also a liturgical and communal reality, entered into before God and the believing community.
“Have you not read that He who created them from the beginning made them male and female and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”
Matthew 19:4-6
Marriage is thus rooted in creation, reaffirmed by Christ, and lived in the Church. It is not merely a private arrangement.
Marriage Is Communion and Healing
The sacrament is a path toward deification. It is a means by which husband and wife help each other grow in holiness and receive the sacraments of the Church together.
The husband’s and wife’s Christian life is meant to be shaped by the sacraments, the Eucharist, confession, prayer, and participation in the liturgical cycle.
“Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the Church and gave Himself up for her, that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that He might present the Church to Himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle.”
Ephesians 5:25-27
Marriage in the Presence of the Church
Orthodox Christianity understands marriage as an ecclesial act. The bishop represents the unity and catholicity of the Church. The priest stands in the apostolic ministry of sanctifying and blessing the faithful.
When the couple enters marriage in the Church, they are not only making a promise to each other; they are receiving the blessing and sacramental grace of the Church.
The crown and the nuptial rites are not theatrical accessories. They are liturgical signs of victory in virtue and of entering a new, spiritual struggle together.
The Church crowns the newly married as those who have “won” chastity and have been placed under God’s blessing.
The liturgical action is public, communal, and sacramental. This public character ensures that the marriage is not merely a private arrangement but a visible incorporation into the Body of Christ.
Why a Civil Ceremony Is Not Considered a Marriage by the Church
A civil ceremony can establish a legal bond recognized by the state. Yet the Orthodox Church distinguishes between civil legality and sacramental reality.
Legal recognition does not automatically equal sacramental reality. The Church requires the ecclesial blessing because marriage in its deepest sense is a participation in the life of the Church and in Christ’s mystery.
The Church’s pastoral texts explain that a relationship entered into outside the Church and without proper repentance or preparation may be accepted by civil authorities but remains outside the ecclesial sacramental life unless it is blessed by the Church.
The sacramental blessing is not mere formality. It is the Church’s invocation of divine grace upon the couple.
The Church prays that God will sanctify the union, heal passions, and confer strength. Without that invocation and the accompanying canonical preparation, the couple lacks the sacramental grace that the Church offers to husband and wife.
“Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself unless it abides in the vine, neither can you unless you abide in Me. I am the vine; you are the branches.”
John 15:4-5
A marriage separated from the Church’s life lacks the vine that supports spiritual fruitfulness.
Pastoral Reasons the Church recoqnizes only A Wedding
Preparation and Discernment
The Church requires preparation precisely because marriage involves profound spiritual realities:
- repentance,
- sexual purity,
- pastoral responsibility, and
- mutual sacrifice.
The Church helps couples discern whether their decision arises from transient passion, social pressure, or genuine vocation. Pastoral counselling, confession, and prayer guard the couple from choices that harm their future.
The earlier material speaks of choosing with the “eyes of the Holy Spirit” and approaching marriage as an offering to God rather than merely a fulfillment of desire.
Public Accountability and Community Support
When marriage is celebrated publicly in the Church, the community witnesses and supports the couple. This support helps the husband and wife remain faithful, receive guidance, and seek the sacraments together.
The Church is the spiritual family; it sanctifies and holds accountable. A civil-only marriage lacks this ecclesial framework of accountability and support.
Civil Ceremonies vs Sacramental Marriages
The Church has canonical norms for the celebration of marriage that involve:
- the blessing,
- the presence of witnesses,
- the proclamation of the Church’s prayers, and
- the performance of the rite by a priest.
These elements constitute the form in which the sacrament is enacted.
The Church asks that major life acts be conducted within her sacramental structure because salvation unfolds within the sacramental life. To be “a member of the Body” is to be united sacramentally as well as liturgically.
One must become part of the Church’s body to be saved and to be healed in its sacraments.
One should present the matter to the bishop so the marriage may be “according to God” rather than “according to desire.”
Civil Marriage Followed by Church Blessing
When a couple has married civilly and later seeks the Church, the priest and bishop often treat the situation pastorally. The Church may bless and regularize the union, asking for confession, instruction, and a formal celebration of the sacrament.
Social pressure, secular norms, and misunderstandings lead many to choose civil marriage only. The modern world often treats marriage primarily as a legal and social institution.
Orthodox Christianity warns that this removes the ecclesial and sacramental dimension that changes the inner life of the couple.
“I urge you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship.”
Romans 12:1
Marriage as spiritual worship is enacted within the Church and the sacramental life, not outside it.
The Church’s Concern for the Family and Children
The Church also sees marriage as the natural and spiritual home for children. The sacramental marriage gives parents the framework to raise children in the faith, receiving baptism, catechesis, and the sacraments together as a family.
“Your wife will be like a fruitful vine within your house; Your children will be like olive plants around your table.”
Psalm 127:3
This spiritual context matters for the stability and sanctity of the family.
Comparing the Modern World’s and Orthodox Christianity’s Perception
| Modern | Orthodox Christianity |
|---|---|
| Marriage is primarily a civil legal contract. | Marriage is primarily a sacrament and ecclesial communion. |
| Wedding ceremony is often cultural and aesthetic. | The wedding rite is liturgical, sacramental, and formative. |
| Lack of sacramental preparation is normal. | Preparation, confession, and pastoral guidance are seen as necessary for a life ordered to salvation. |
| Marriage validity is measured by civil law. | Marriage validity is measured by ecclesial form and blessing. |
| Children’s upbringing is often private. | Family life is shaped by communal worship and sacramental participation. |
| Divorce is increasingly acceptable socially. | Divorce is a pastoral tragedy and the Church treats it with gravity and pastoral care. |
| Marriage can be private. | Marriage is public and communal, witnessed by the Church. |
| Ritual without inner change is often accepted. | Ritual is worthless without repentance and inner conversion. |
Pastoral Guidance for Those Who Married Civilly
Couples who married civilly should speak with their parish Orthodox priest. The goal is not punishment but entrance into sacramental life.
Pastoral steps normally include going through confession, instruction, and an Orthodox Christian marriage.
If the civil marriage was entered into impulsively or without moral clarity, the Church offers healing through repentance, confession, and the sacraments. The Church’s role is to bring grace into human decisions and make them fruitful.
The crown and nuptial symbolism indicate spiritual victory and public sanctification.
Saint John Chrysostom
If Separation or Civil Divorce Has Occurred
The Church handles such situations case by case. It recognizes brokenness and offers pastoral pathways toward reconciliation or, where necessary, ecclesial solutions that prioritize salvation. The Church’s care is always for the soul’s healing and the family’s integrity.
A Simple Way to Explain This to Children
Marriage in the Church is like joining a big, loving family. The priest helps the couple ask God to bless them. The Church prays that they will love each other, forgive each other, and raise their children in God’s ways.
Dive Deeper: