The Orthodox View of Marriage: A Divine Mystery
Orthodox Christianity teaches that marriage is not simply a legal contract or a social arrangement—it is a holy mystery (sacrament), in which a man and a woman are united by God to reflect the love between Christ and His Church.
As Christ is faithful to His Bride, so marriage is meant to be faithful, lifelong, and sanctifying.
In the Orthodox wedding service, the couple is crowned—not as rulers of each other, but as martyrs: they are crowned to sacrifice self-interest and to bear one another’s burdens.
The goal of Christian marriage is salvation. It is not merely about companionship or pleasure, but the transformation of the couple through love, struggle, and shared life in Christ.
Pagan Marriage Before Christianity
Before the light of Christ entered the world, marriage in many pagan societies, especially in the Roman Empire and the Greek world, was often contractual, political, or utilitarian.
Women were frequently treated as property. Christianity changed the position of women.
Divorce was common, and men could easily cast aside their wives without serious consequence.
The coming of Christianity transformed this entirely. In Orthodox teaching, both the husband and the wife are icons of God, equal in dignity and called to serve one another.
Christ elevated the bond between man and woman to something eternal, holy, and deeply spiritual. Love was no longer selfish but sacrificial.
Christ’s Words About Divorce
In the Gospel of Matthew (19:6), Christ says: “What God has joined together, let no man separate.”
This is the foundation of the Orthodox view: marriage is sacred and cannot be dissolved by human will.
When questioned about Moses allowing divorce, Christ explains that it was “because of the hardness of your hearts” (Matthew 19:8). In other words, divorce was tolerated due to human weakness—not because it was God’s original plan.
In Orthodox Christianity, this teaching is taken seriously. Marriage is intended to be permanent, a path toward holiness and the Kingdom of Heaven.
Is Divorce Ever Allowed in Orthodoxy?
Yes—but only in cases of grave sin or spiritual destruction. Orthodox Christianity does not celebrate or promote divorce, but in its pastoral care, it recognizes that marriages sometimes break due to sin, betrayal, abuse, or abandonment.
In such cases, the Church may grant a divorce not to nullify the marriage as if it never existed, but to acknowledge its tragic failure.
This practice is not rooted in modern leniency but in ancient Orthodox tradition, dating back to the early centuries. The Church, like a wise physician, treats the wounded not with condemnation but with healing.
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A second marriage may be allowed, but always through repentance and with a different, more penitential service.
The family is a small Church, where the Kingdom of God begins in daily life.
Remarriage in the Orthodox Church
While the Orthodox Church allows a second (and very rarely, a third) marriage, these are considered concessions—not ideals.
The wedding service for a second marriage is more somber. It emphasizes repentance, healing, and the seriousness of the past.
Remarriage is never encouraged, but it is given as a form of spiritual economy to those who sincerely seek a new life in Christ.
Orthodox Christianity never teaches that divorce is a “solution” to problems. It always seeks reconciliation first. Only when this is impossible does the Church consider a compassionate response, always within the framework of healing and return to God.
The Church’s Role in Modern Family Life
In a world where marriage is often seen as temporary, conditional, or purely emotional, the Orthodox Church stands as a witness to something greater. Christian marriage is a divine calling.
Families are meant to be little churches, where children are raised in faith, love, and obedience to Christ.
The Church prays for couples at every stage: at the wedding, during struggles, and even after failure. The Orthodox Christian approach is never legalistic but pastoral.
The goal is always repentance, healing, and union with God.
Why This Matters for Today’s Orthodox Christians
Today, many are confused by what Christianity teaches about love, family, and commitment. Orthodox Christianity offers a path that is both truthful and merciful.
It honors marriage as sacred but understands the brokenness of the human condition.
For Orthodox Christians, the goal is not outward perfection but the inward work of salvation. In marriage, that means forgiving, enduring, and sacrificing for one another.
And if marriage fails, the Church remains a place of hope and restoration—not judgment.
How to Explain This to Little Kids
Parents can say: “God made marriage to be something very special—where a husband and wife love each other like Christ loves His Church. Sometimes people make mistakes or get hurt. The Church wants everyone to be safe and happy, so if a marriage breaks, God still loves them and wants to help them start again.”
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